By a Nose Hair

The following is a true story told to me by a close friend. Lou told me I could use this story for the blog as long as I didn't reveal his name. So, LK, this story is for you.

We’ve all gone through the trials and tribulations of learning all that goes with being a triathlete. This includes; getting in /out of a wet suit, getting on/off the bike without falling, clipping bike shoes on, remembering to remove goggles when transitioning to the bike, taking the bike helmet off before the run portion and so on. 

I shouldn’t have been surprised that selecting and using nose plugs for swimming would be so complicated. First, there are several types to choose from, ranging in price from about $3-$6. One had a strap that went around your head to secure. I used to wear one of those as a young teen and still bear the scars of taunts and spit balls from every kid who ever sat behind me in Junior high. (editorial note; why did Lou wear a nose plug in class? Aren’t they just for the pool?) Obviously the only choice was to buy the most expensive one, because we know the most expensive one is always the best. 

Finally I get in the pool. It only takes about 5 minutes to figure out how to wear my new plug. Surprisingly, it doesn’t go in your nose, but on the outside and pinches your nostrils shut! Who knew?? So off I go. After 1.5 laps it comes off and I find it floating 2 lanes away! Fortunately, I was the only one in the pool.  I reapply the plug differently. This works well for 2 whole laps and floats off.  After lots of experimentation, I manage to go 3-4 laps each time prior to losing the plugs. I was getting pretty good  swimming with one hand on nose and one in water. Is there a Jewish nose version?? BTW, no sneezing yet.

Reply from MW: “This is just a wild question that I know I will regret. Is there a chance you put this on wrong? Were there instructions? I know it is unlikely as you are MacGyver.”

Lou’s answer: “It didn’t involve any tools so I was pretty confident. There were some instructions, but it was written in Korean. In between her laughing, I asked the life guard if she knew how these worked, she just walked away mumbling something about having to check the Jacuzzi.”