On Anxiety

This quote from Scott Stossel's article in The Atlantic magazine is pretty close to how I feel most of the time and think how I present myself (at least in my work life);

"I am, as they say in the clinical literature, “high functioning” for someone with an anxiety disorder or other mental illness; I’m usually quite good at hiding it. This is a signature characteristic of the phobic personality: “the need and the ability,” as described in the self-help book Your Phobia, “to present a relatively placid, untroubled appearance to others, while suffering extreme distress on the inside.” To some people, I may seem calm. But if you could peer beneath the surface, you would see that I’m like a duck—paddling, paddling, paddling."
http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2014/01/surviving_anxiety/355741/
Surviving Anxiety. Scott Stossel. The Atlantic. 12/22/2013.

I thought this was a great article. I haven't used the medications for two reasons; 1 - I try to stay away from using drugs, even prescription ones and 2 - I'm too anxious and ashamed to admit to a doctor how much this problem bothers me. I don't want to rely on a drug, I should be able to deal with this on my own.
I write that sentence knowing there have been numerous times in my life that anxiety has forced me to alter my course and not always for the better.

Alcohol - well, again, never at work, but in many social situations it can become a crutch. The key is balance, just enough to take the edge off, so to speak.

Exercise is usually my "drug". Running or biking can take care of a lot of issues. It makes me feel better mentally as much as physically. I always bike or lift or run on days I have to teach a class. I can stand up in front of the students knowing I accomplished something today, even if I fail now. Of course I'm anxious before every race, some people reading this may have seen me in a full-blown anxiety state of mind before competing, but that's another article.