I see this as a win-win. Readers get flamboyant headlines that will touch some raw emotion and stir them to share my articles and I get rich being a fake news writer. America truly is Great again! How many readers bother to check and see if any articles are fact, semi-fact or all fiction?
To begin 2017 with a bang, here are the top ten sports news items you should know right now;
1. Jim Kelly is coming out of retirement to lead the Buffalo Bills at QB.
2. Local Spencerport resident retires from factory after 40 years, trains an hour a day and wins the Lake Placid 70.3 mile race. Amazing for a 62 year old man.
3. No performance enhancing drugs were involved in either one or two (sure)
4. Trump requires each MLB team to hire Russian coaches to be their strength trainers. No other coaches know as much about drugs as the Russians and they are his friends.
5. The Buffalo Sabres get awarded the Stanley Cup. (awarded, they don't win it, that would be ridiculous. They just get to keep it for a night and dream).
6. Derek Jeter is buying the NY Yankees. Yes, he will be back at shortstop, who wouldn't want to be a player-owner?
7. Tom Brady will win the Super Bowl (again), punch NFL commissioner Goodell at the ceremony, tear the trophy open with his bear hands and drink champagne out of it.
8. Running with a dog is passe. People now run with their miniature horses. The horse can carry its' own poop bag, small shovel, water for itself and the owner, and is easily kept in any suburban fenced- in yard. Trail running will take over road 5k's as the most popular running event in the U.S.
9. I will have a side business hauling away manure from every runner who has a miniature horse. Renaming the manure to "Organically Grown Fertilizer: especially processed for gardens" will make this an easy sell. Jan (my wife) is sure to help me shovel poop! Cross-training at its' best.
10. My oldest daughter will create a dvd series of alternative exercise you can do with a miniature horse. They are sure to become bestsellers, since I will sell them on my million dollar making blog.
3 comments:
Yes! I'm in! And I have the "Organically Grown Fertilizer" pile started whenever you're ready :)
I could be replaced by a horse as my wife's running partner? And I bought a bike so I could keep up? I'm re-posting this to bring awareness to this dangerous trend. Jobs and livelihoods are at stake!
I may have made a mistake with Brady. I wrote "bear" hands, when it probably should be "bare" hands. Though his hands are big, so maybe bear does work?
Ethan Allen - you could be the horse groomer in your family.
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