A Greek Tragedy or "Camping in Lake Placid" Act 1

This is reprint of a blog article I wrote in the summer of 2008, the year before Jan completed her Lake Placid Ironman, We went to the mountains for training and to get Jan signed up for the 2009 race. This was when it was extremely difficult to get into the next year's race unless you stood in line early in the morning the day after the race had just completed.

Since six of us are going to Lake Placid to swim, bike and run the end of June as training for the LP Half-Ironman in September, I thought this would be a good time to reprint my play. It's in two Acts. This is Act one of two.

Readers, if only it weren't all true, a sad woeful tale of a vacation gone awry. 

Characters; Queen Triathlete Wife and Lowly, the loyal servant.

Act One, Scene 1, before leaving Spencerport:

Queen: Don't you think we should waterproof the tent, after all it hasn't been used in years.

Lowly: Nah, it'll be fine, it has a rain fly and the weather forecast calls for only a 30% chance of rain.

Queen: I better not get wet. That's all I ask from you making me camp again, a dry tent to sleep in!

Lowly: Not a problem, I guarantee we will be okay.

Scene 2: At the campground in Wilmington Notch, 8 miles from Lake Placid

Queen: I can't believe we got lost, we've been coming here for years.

Lowly: I know, I thought the shortcut would help us avoid downtown, I didn't know we would miss our turn to Wilmington and take another hour.

Queen: Well, let's get the tent set up.

Lowly: Okay, but where's the electric at our site, it must be here somewhere.

Queen: Lowly, there is no electric!

Lowly: There has to be. There are rv's here, don't they need electric?

Queen: Evidently not, Lowly.

Lowly: Oh god. All of our meals were planned using electric. I brought an electric coffee pot, electric lamp, a griddle for cooking with electric!

Queen: Let's ask the Park Ranger.

Ranger: Are you stupid or something boy? No DEC campground in the Adirondacks has electric.

Lowly: Stupid is as stupid does.

Ranger: Well, there you go.

Queen: (ever optimistic) We can eat sandwiches for dinner, it'll be okay. Let's see, I'll have the ham, you have the pastrami, now where is the mustard?

Lowly: I forgot the mustard.

Queen: You have got to be kidding. Well, how about butter?

Lowly: Yeah, we have butter. Yum, pastrami on whole wheat with butter. This is good carb loading for our bike ride of the Ironman course tomorrow.

Queen: Break out the wine, now!

(later that night)

Queen: Umm, Lowly, I hear rain.

Lowly: It's got to be the wind, it's not supposed to rain.

Queen: Well, the tent is getting wet. Quick, let's get out there and put the sun canopy over the tent... Lowly, why are the holes in the canopy?

Lowly: Hey, I patched those holes with duct tape, it'll be fine.

Queen: My sleeping bag better not get wet Lowly!

Lowly: Don't worry my Queen, we will be fine.

Scene 3: Saturday morning, pre-bike ride, 70 degrees.

Queen: Keep the tent flap open, string up the bags so the tent dries out Lowly.

Lowly: Okay, okay, so it rained a bit, we are fine.

Queen: What's for breakfast?

Lowly: We were going to have eggs, bacon, homefries. But no electric and no time to start a fire. We need to get riding!

Queen: I'm not riding for hours without eating, I'm hungry.

Lowly: Okay, here, we have juice, Hammer Bars, dry cereal, bananas, this is great!

Queen: My banana is rotten. Where's my coffee?

Scene 4: The duo are on their bikes. Lowly forgot his Garmin and his bike computer doesn't work. He can't tell distance, speed or cadence.

Lowly: (to himself) Oh, isn't that cute, someone put a sign on the road saying, "Cherry Patch". Hey, we are going up a hill. Hey, look at that, a sign "baby bear", a bigger hill. Oh no, "mama bear", a bigger hill. Gdammit. Here it comes, "papa bear". They are killing me here and we are only 7 miles from the campground!

Lowly: Are all of these bikers in the race? How can they be riding miles the day before an Ironman? They can't be in the race.

Queen: I guess they are in shape.

Lowly: I'm in shape dammit!

Queen: I guess not IM shape.

Lowly: But they are miles away from Lake Placid. This doesn't make sense.

Queen: Maybe they are just riding the course for fun, like us.

Lowly: (in his lowest granny gear, climbing up some mountain heading to Keene) This is fun? How can they fly by me like that? Ugh.

Queen: Look, a downhill sign, are you ready?

Queen and Lowly fly downhill for over 7 miles. It is treacherous reaching speeds Lowly never thought possible. His brakes are smoking from overuse.

Lowly: We have to stop, my hands are tired from braking. Did you see that woman go past me? She must have been doing 45mph or more! That is crazy.

Queen and Lowly continue from Keene to Jay. A fairly flat section that was actually fun and beautiful to ride, a smile almost appeared on Lowly's face.

Queen: Okay, Lowly, we have a three mile climb to Wilmington, just turn left.

Two bikers pass Lowly. Two more, then more, and more.

Lowly: I made it! Wilmington, wow, Queenie, look behind us at the climb we just did! Now we are only 7 miles from our campground.

Queen: First we have to take a right turn on Haselton road and go out for 7 miles, then back to here.

Lowly: Hah, hah. Funny Queen.

Queen: Let's go.

Queen and Lowly head out on the 14 mile loop. It begins to rain, then stops, then rains and stops, then rains and stops. Finally they are back in Wilmington.

Lowly: Hey Queen, that wasn't too bad a section, except for the rain and wind.

Queen: I need a bathroom.

Lowly: Well, it's the day before the IM, surely there are port-a-pots all over Wilmington?

Queen: They are locked Lowly, what will I do now?

Lowly: Hey, a tourist information center, let's stop.

Queen: There better be a bathroom. (there was, thankfully)

Later, Queen and Lowly head up route 86 to the campground.

Lowly: (as Queen passes him) Why aren't I going anywhere? I'm pedaling like hell, it doesn't look uphill, but I'm hardly moving!

Queen: I know, it doesn't make sense. Look up there, the campground sign.

Lowly: Uh, Queenie, it's not.

Queen: Oh my god. where is it? This is all uphill! I'm going to cry.

Back at camp.

Lowly: I'm sorry Queen, I can't do another loop. You go, I'll follow in the SUV.

Queen: It's okay, I'm done for today too.

After a fine dinner of hot dogs, potatoes and carrots cooked over a roaring fire that the Queen started, with a bottle of wine of course, the duo climb into the tent for the night.

(Lowly wakes up, checks his watch, it's 6am and raining) At 7:30am the Queen wakes up. It's pouring.

Queen: I'm getting wet.

Lowly: I know, this stinks. I can't take it. Let's eat the bagels we bought yesterday.

Queen: I want coffee.

Lowly: I can't start a fire, the wood is all wet. We can't drive to town, the roads are closed for the race. Hey, let's run to town!

Queen: So, I have to run 4 miles downhill to get coffee and then back uphill 4 miles? In the rain?

Lowly: It'll be really good coffee.

Lowly and the Queen do the run and come back to watch and cheer for the bikers. These athletes are riding 112 miles in a torrential downpour. The rain continues throughout the day, over 3 inches fell in Lake Placid on Sunday.

The campground is a mudpit.

End of Act 1.

Spring: Where Are You My Old Friend?

Here's hoping the new colors of my blog help to push in the spring season in Western New York. I don't mind riding my bike in the basement but it would be nice to get outside a couple of days a week.

We should feel lucky that only 1-2" of rain is falling in the 35-42 degree temperatures. The Adirondacks and New England are getting anything from freezing rain to 12" of snow. I truly would be depressed if that happened to us. My Southern Comfort supply is not adequate enough to make it through another snowstorm, wind storm or massive electric outage.

This morning I was at a committee meeting at work. I walked in when a couple of professors were discussing how they don't exercise due to time constraints and other excuses. I stayed quiet and listened and tried to be non-judgmental. Then one of the professors looked me over and asked if I was "one of those people" (the kind that worked out). I'm hoping she thought despite the face of an old man my body looked like it was possible I did exercise. I'm taking it as a positive that there wasn't an immediate vocal display of shock when I said I did.

I mentioned that my wife and I were training for a half-ironman as a couple of other people walked in the room. That got everyone's attention, which actually was nice. A few questions about what the race distance was and my history followed. I really wasn't trying to impress anyone, but honestly I kind of enjoyed some of the attention. After three months of the majority of my running on indoor tracks or treadmills and riding in the basement conversing with "average" people about my activities felt nice.

Training for an event that is personally challenging, whatever the distance, can be mentally as well as physically draining. I seldom talk about what I'm doing unless asked, that can quickly get boring to a listener. It is nice when a person is genuinely interested though. And who knows, maybe we serve as an inspiration?

Even Steven!

This is a year that I try to transform myself into a triathlete again. It's been a few years since I've really concentrated on the triathlon. Why should a person be mediocre at just one sport, like me in running, when he/she can embrace being inadequate in three?

Now that I recently joined a new age group, one made up of really old people (60), maybe I can actually compete in the triathlon? The odds are stacked against me. With a wetsuit on in a race I can finish maybe in the middle of my age group. On the bike I fall back. Then usually on the run, at least in a sprint distance tri, I can make up some ground. We won't discuss transition times yet, when people can eat a four-course meal quicker than I move from swim to bike and bike to run.

I keep thinking transitions are meant to rest. It's like doing intervals on the track, a rest period is necessary.

For the last few weeks my wife and I have been trying to swim, bike, run and lift weights within a seven day schedule. We want to get adjusted physically and mentally to more workouts and using muscles that may have not been used in a while. I think we have been doing pretty well but doubt can creep into my mind when thoughts of the 70.3 mile race we entered come to the forefront.

Last night, after a day of lifting weights at 5:30am, working all day, then an indoor bike ride of twenty miles, I checked my training log. The first nine days of February I ran 4x, biked 4x, swam 4x and lifted weights 4x. Even Steven. All by accident.

I need to run more though. The winter season is killing me. Getting off the bike and running is mentally killing me. For the rest of February my goal is to stay steady with the bike, swimming and weights and pick up the run distance/time/days.

Any readers have suggestions or similar issues?

Triathlon Speed Part 3

In the book, "Faster: Demystifying the Science of Triathlon Speed", the author uses scientific research from studies done around the world to help athletes go faster in triathlons without taking out a second mortgage.

Now we concentrate on the run, the last part of the series.
Want to get faster?  Lose weight, your own body weight. This will help on the bike and the run. Don’t spend $3000 on a bike to save 2-3 pounds, go on a diet, eat less and healthier and lose the same or more, for free.  This will also change the rate at which your body generates and expels heat, giving you a faster run time (p141).
The past three days I ran 19 miles and lifted weights. I gained 2 pounds! Not the result I was seeking.
Sure the wonderful coconut frosting birthday cake I ate might not have been the best for dieting. Thinking back, Saturday, after an 8 mile run my lunch consisted of a huge piece of cake, but I did drink water with it. That may not have been my best choice for a meal. Maybe I should follow the advice of Barefoot Pete who told me, "Mike, why don't you try fasting for one day a week?" when I complained about being 10+ pounds over race weight. I seem to be able to fast for about 2-3 hours, then I start eating again. I'm pretty sure that isn't what Pete meant.
Anyhow - more free speed; Don’t overstride, aim for 180-190 strides per minute, for most runners this mean having a shorter stride. There will be less vertical force used, less braking force and less time on the ground, all of which make you a faster, more efficient runner – for free! A slow cadence puts a lot of force on your joints and slows you down.

There you have it! Some great ideas to get faster in your next triathlon without spending much, if any, money. Swim technique, a decent but not the most expensive, wetsuit; learn to bike aerodynamically, research and choose the best clincher tires, maybe buy an aero helmet; and, finally, learn to run without overstriding and having a quicker stride rate. Oh, and for most of us, lose weight. 

Triathlon Speed: Part II

In the book, "Faster: Demystifying the Science of Triathlon Speed", the author uses scientific research from studies done around the world to help athletes go faster in triathlons without taking out a second mortgage.

Now we concentrate on "The Bike".

Of course you can spend untold fortunes buying a light, fast bike (a bike is not fast though, the rider makes it fast –bikes just sit there without someone pedaling).  So – work on your engine, this only costs time.
Also, and most important, work on being aero throughout the race, down on the bars.

Not satisfied? Then spend a little money by getting an aero helmet, a relatively cheap method to decrease drag. Helmets with shorter tails and steeper taper angles are the best. (p92). Secondly, research tires, there is a significant difference on rolling resistance between clincher tires. It’s really where you can get the most bang for your dollar (p.106). The best tire can save you about 60 seconds over a 25 mile race, doing an IM – that’s 4:30 saved just by having the right tire. Remember, the time saved is also energy conserved for the run. Tire pressure is also important, aim for 110psi, any higher and the ride will get bumpy and diminishing returns in rolling resistance.

Disc wheels, depending on wind direction, can be more aerodynamic, but how much money do you want to spend? This is about spending the least to get the most, not looking cool with the shiniest equipment.  

Drafting on the bike, in most triathlons, is illegal, it does give a huge advantage (think Peloton at Tour de France), so forget that technique. The author does strongly suggest getting a Power Meter for your bike, the most effective method of training and measuring your effort during a race. Power Meter’s cost a few hundred though, so it may be out of reach for some people.

 

Adjusting Expectations

The article below is from the newest edition of an online newsletter from USA Triathlon.org. It speaks to some of the concerns and thoughts I've had recently, particularly numbers four and five.

By Marty Gaal

Part of any well-rounded athletic training program includes realistic goal setting. Goal setting can be as simple as losing X amount of weight and ‘getting into better shape,’ or targeting a specific time or performance goal at a specific event. In the endurance athletic world the tendency is toward the latter although there is nothing wrong with the former.

As the season progresses, you should see measurable results via improved body composition, increased endurance and increased speed at certain effort levels. These interim milestones allow you to adjust your future expectations upward or downward.

Interruptions and adjustments are a part of life. Most adult triathletes have multiple commitments including family harmony and work-related stress like travel, deadlines and unsupportive bosses. Your initial goal of winning your age group in a big race may not be realistic after you had to spend two weeks visiting multiple job sites and working 15 hour days. Or you may run into the cold, hard reality that you are not, in fact, Superman or Superwoman and can only burn the candle at both ends for a few days at a time before you need time off of training to mentally rest and relax.

In an ideal world, you will successfully handle all of the above as well as the sort of training required to meet your goals. You’ll arrive at your goal race well-prepared to execute and meet or beat your personal goals.

However, that’s not always the case. Everything in sum may become overwhelming. If this sounds like you, here are a few tips to keep yourself motivated and enjoying all the training you are able to complete.

1.      Prioritize. Make sure you understand what is most important to you and then work from there. Most of us put more value into keeping our families happy and keeping our jobs.

2.      Adjust your time commitment and performance goals. If your original Ironman season plan had you averaging 15 hours of training per week (for example), accept that this may be unrealistic for you. Slice a couple hours off and expect to be five to 10 percent slower than you would have been. You can still have a great day and will be in terrific shape.

3.      Make it social. Endurance athletics is ultimately an individual sport where you excel through your personal work habits and individual ability. You can take some of the sting out of lowered expectations by expanding your worldview to value the social side of training with groups and friends.

4.      Enjoy the little things. Rather than stress about not being able to repeat sub-6 minute miles (for example) on a running interval day, revel in the fact that you can do several miles at sub-6:30 pace and come back to train again the following day.

5.      Take the long view. While this particular season or training cycle may not be the best you could have achieved had everything else in your life gone according to plan, doing the best you can with the time and energy you do have will set you up for future successes, when life outside of athletics may not be so challenging.

Success in endurance athletics is not built on one season of training and racing alone. You may have heard of the 10,000 hour rule. This is the idea that it takes that many hours of practice to become truly skilled in an endeavor. While it may not take quite that much time for each individual, it gives you some idea of the amount of work it takes to become really, really good. Those superfast athletes you are hoping to mix it up with did not start out that way. All of them have practiced consistently for years and years. No one can jam that much practice into just one season!

When push comes to shove, your satisfaction in sport is based on simple factors: Accepting your current limitations and doing the best you can to challenge those limitations within the framework of the rest of your life. Do that, and you will have the mental capacity to repeat the athletic goal setting process for the rest of your life. Rage against the machine and you will experience untimely burnout and frustration, which will negatively affect both your physical and mental well-being.

Marty Gaal, CSCS, is a USA Triathlon Certified Coach. Along with his wife and partner, Brianne, he coaches athletes around the world from their home base in Cary, N.C. You can read more about One Step Beyond coaches and services at osbmultisport.com.

Triathlon Don'ts

If only I had my video camera. While working at the Pittsford Triathlon Sunday I had the honor of seeing events I had never before witnessed.

1. This triathlon is a 300 yard pool swim. Competitors start every 15 seconds and swim in lanes, going under the lane markers to continue. It is a short distance in a safe environment, perfect for newbies and those uncomfortable with the water. It's also nice for more experienced triathletes who prefer a sprint triathlon.
I was assigned to sit there and make sure everything went smoothly with the volunteers and swimmers. An easy assignment as the lifeguards in charge had been doing this for years. Around 250 swimmers began the race. One man, in his twenties, obviously was new to the idea of swimming and did the doggy paddle and water bobbed in the shallow sections, taking about 14 minutes to finish. It was exhausting just watching him.
After more than an hour the last competitors lined up. A gentleman, probably 60 or so, had on his wire rimmed glasses, no swim cap, no goggles. He began swimming with the elementary backstroke...slowly. He swam into the pool wall. Later, much later, he switched to the sidestroke...slowly. It took him 22 minutes to complete the swim. That is almost 4 minutes per 50 yards. The average finish time was 6-8 minutes.
These two swimmers were not my favorites of the day. That honor goes to another 60+ year old man whose excited wife took photos of him in the warmup area. Okay, fine, lots of people did that. Then she kissed him right before his start like she wasn't going to see him again (it's a pool, you can watch the entire time!). At the end of every 50 yards she took his photo again as he stopped and rested. Twice she kissed him at the end of the 50 (I'm not making this up). He finished in 18+ minutes. That's a long time to be in the pool for 300 yards. Maybe if his wife hadn't got him so excited with the kisses he would have finished sooner?

Oh- I followed the last swimmer out of the pool so the timing and race crews would know who to look for on the bike. Unfortunately the woman I followed turned out not to be the last person. The 22 minute man went to the locker room and completely changed before heading out for the bike. He wasn't any better on the bike or run either. Slow swim, 8mph on the bike, 14+ minute miles "running". wow.

2. The crew is watching transition, anxiously looking for the last bikers to arrive. Mister lovey-dovey man comes in on his commuter bike with the rack still on. His wife runs after him, ignoring the rule about competitors only in transition. Ignoring the race announcer stating, "racers only in transition". She helps him park his bike, takes his race number off the back of his shirt. He changes his shirt, she pins it on the front. Then he takes off his shorts, standing there in his jockeys, in the middle of transition. He puts on dry shorts. Not running shorts, just regular shorts. His wife takes a few photos, helps him with his running shoes and...kisses him. He's off! The wrong way. He can't find his way out of transition and runs to the wrong side.

Here are some triathlon race tips:

A. When you are getting ready to race a triathlon, look around the transition, start and finish areas. Try to figure out the logistics. When you see a giant inflatable arch that says "Bike Exit" and another one that says "Run Exit", realize that this is where you exit on your bike and the other one is to exit towards the run. Duh.

B. Take the commuter rack off your bike. Take all the extra weight off you can, why carry this stuff around during a race and make the event even harder?

C. This will be controversial in today's world of "just do it". Frickin' train for the event!! Learn to swim, at least a bit. I can handle the doggy paddle guy, just feel bad for all the energy he used and the people he bogged up in the pool. Same with elementary backstroke man, you are not the only person in the lane. I pray these people don't get into an open water event. Practice on the bike. I'm sorry, 8 mph is really slow. Really. It was a decent day, practice first.

D. Don't stand in transition in your underwear, unless you are a young, hot woman or man. No one wants to see that.

D. Racers only in transition. I'm pitifully slow in transition, but Jan has yet to help me change. Maybe that's why I have such troubles?

Top 10 Ways to Beat D.M. in a Triathlon

DM=Famous triathlete - Dennis Moriarty

10. Don't wait 30 seconds after the gun goes off to begin swimming (time saved -30sec)
9. Swim in a straight line (save 3 minutes)
8. Learn to get out of my damn wetsuit! (save 3 minutes)
7. Bike faster (in 2008, my first Shoreline Tri I avg. 19.3mph which I thought was pretty good - DM averaged 23.8mph and beat me on that leg by 8:55!)DM likely won't get faster, he is already one of the top Tri guys, I, being quite average, have lots of room to improve - time saved - 5 minutes
6. Not have some fool move my stuff on the transition racks while I'm biking so I can locate it when I come off the bike (save 1 minute)
5.Run faster? Maybe I can, but DM is just much better at this. (time saved 0)
4. I'm experienced at tri's now, having completed 3 sprints, 1 du, 1dnf 1/2 IM compared to DM's national rankings, hundreds of tri races,IM's, overall Shoreline/Hamlin Beach wins, age group wins. Well, okay, maybe this tactic isn't that great?

If learning to swim, bike and transition don't work, I'll try the following tactics:
4. Line up behind Dennis for the swim and loop a weight on his ankle just as he begins his first stroke (save 1 minute)
3. Hire Hooters girls to distract DM. They will be stationed at the swim exit and transition area. I'll pay extra if they "help" him remove his wetsuit. (save 3 minutes)
2. Spike his water bottles. (save 2 minutes, possibly much more if the alcohol makes DM be friendlier to the Hooter gals).
1. Use proven Mike W. race tactics, plenty of elbows, "accidental" foot tripping and bad jokes (save 2 minutes).

In 2008 Dennis won our age group in a time of 1:19:35, I finished 7th in 1:43:05 a 23:30 difference, or as some people like to say, "DM cooled down, was on his second beer, changed clothes and was eating a hot dog as you finished".

I need to find other ways to close the gap, the 10 ideas above save me 20 minutes and a couple may be considered illegal in some circles. Suggestions are welcome.

Triathlon Training Video

This is a hilarious cartoon video about triathlon training. Listen carefully and without a mouthful of food. Credit to Mr. Withrow for sending this to Jan and myself.
From the website xtranormal.

Why I Can't Swim

Finally, this morning, I discovered the absolute reason why, after 1000 yards or so, I can barely move through the pool.

Today was the first day of open lap swimming at the new Spencerport pool. Beginning at 8am, Eileen, Jan and I eagerly jumped into the pool for the first leg of the McTri. We were lucky, one of the lifeguards was the fourteen year old daughter of SuperMasterWoodworker/sometime runner/kayaker, Mark. I'm sure she didn't go home and tell the parental units how pitiful I looked in the pool (or out of it).

While Jan and Eileen torpedoed through the water like sharks going after prey, I splashed and slogged along. The longer I swam the more my butt and legs seemed to be sinking. I tried to find my buoy the experts always talk about. I thought about making myself long, floating through the water, extending out. Imagining myself to be Michael Phelps didn't help.

After 1200 measly yards I was reduced to backstroking 25, freestyle 25, and so on, until finally getting to my goal of 1500 yards. On a positive side I only lost 25 seconds or so for every 100 yards when doing the backstroke. Which really only proves how slow I am in the freestyle.

As I was attempting to exit the pool, Jan told me how huge my butt looked. I turned around and ...she was right! My butt grew by about 200 pounds. Somehow my body absorbs much of the water in the pool and accumulates it in my buttal area. (is buttal a word?). Evidently I never noticed this phenomena before. No wonder the bottom half of my body sinks, my arms tire, and breathing becomes difficult.

After the swim the three of us biked 15.7 miles in 28 degree weather, then Jan and I ran 4 miles while Eileen went home to run solo. I don't know how far Eileen the Dolphin swam, but Torpedo Jan went 2000 yards in less time than I swam 1600.

Now I have to search Google and discover how to keep from gaining 200 pounds while swimming.